Friday, May 27, 2016

Changing My Name




I've been thinking about changing my pseudonym for months. Why? Well, I came up with it more than year and a half ago, and I think I've changed since then. A lot. And I've decided that the name "Skye" just doesn't fit me. It's too feminine, and it isn't something with which I really identify.

Over the past few months, I've been gradually changing the way I express myself. It started last November when I talked on here about how I didn't really understand my gender, but I still used she/her pronouns just to avoid confrontation and, honestly, harassment. I don't want to be labeled as one of those "Tumblry people that call themselves 'agender' or 'gender-fluid' or 'non-binary' for attention." I really hate being called a girl because I don't think that's me. I don't associate that word with myself, and me being called a girl is like being called a clock. Just...what. That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard.

While I have yet to change my physical appearance, I really want to. I have a desire to wear a chest-compression binder and bow ties, and I want to cut my hair. I've always wanted to, but I've always been too afraid of of people's reactions and comments. I'm afraid of not wearing a dress to a formal event and cutting my hair for fear of people saying I'm copying my friends or something. Just trying to be comfortable in my own skin would most likely result in rude comments, but I'm trying to get over it.

I've mentioned that I usehey/them pronouns on most of my accounts, but mistakes are still common. I mean, I understand though. If you've ever used she/her pronouns when referring to me, it's okay. Seriously. I get it. Just try not to use them in the future...that would be great. A couple of my friends in real life know that I use them, but most of them don't. Mistakes in real life happen every five minutes, but I can't blame them, I haven't explained it to most people. I'm trying to do it gradually!

I think the hardest thing to change is my name. In real life, I still mostly use my birth name, but on the internet I exclusively use "Skye." When I first came up with that name, I wasn't really thinking about using something more gender-neutral because, at the time, gender wasn't something I thought about. Now, I want it to be a name completely unaffected by gender. Then I realized I couldn't come up with anything. Like, what's a name that sounds like me? Hmm. How do people chose their own names like this? This is hard.

There's a lot of things I want in a name. As someone who's now gone by several, I have a few musts.

  • It must be gender-neutral, and equally used as both a boy and a girl name.
  • It must be common enough that everyone knows the pronunciation.
  • It must be short, not more than one or two syllables. 4 letters max.
  • It must be a name that no one hates, including me.

After going through a weird amount of baby-naming sites, I came up with two options: Ash and Alex. Both are pretty similar, starting with the same vowel sound, and they both fit all the criteria. Ash is a little more unique I think, but I've always liked the name Alex. Neither of them really scream THAT'S MY NAME RIGHT THERE, but I could get used to either of them. I got used to Skye pretty quickly.

So here's my question for you guys: Which do you prefer? I'm to the point where I literally have no preference. I'm going to put up a poll on here (sidebar!), and if you have any thoughts, please leave me a comment on this post!

I'm sure this transition into a new name is going to confuse a lot of people, including me, but in the long run I'm sure I'll prefer it. So thanks in advance to everyone who comments their thoughts or takes part in the poll! :)

2 comments:

  1. This is such a touching post, and I one hundred percent support you :)
    Choosing between Ash and Alex is definitely a tough choice! I like them both quite a bit. Like you said, Ash is more unique, but I personally think Alex has a better ring to it. So Alex is going to be my vote :)

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    1. Thank you so much! <3 Most of the people I've talked to are saying Alex too, so I will probably go with that, but I'll see what some other people think first!

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